Is it wrong if it feels so right?
by holdmebackdumbledore
Summary: It's probably the most stupid thing to be doing - falling in love with Draco Malfoy, but that doesn't make it feel any less right for Hermione.
1. Chapter 1

I was sitting on an uncomfortable velvet chair, staring into my wine glass. I don't even like wine, and god knows why my parents let a seventeen year old have a glass of alcohol. I was at a large family reunion, hiding in the corner from awkward kisses from relatives that would tell me how big I've gotten since I was a baby. That does tend to happen, people. Suddenly I felt a presence next to me.

"You know, when I said "accio hottie", I didn't expect it to work!"

"Jeremy, we're cousins for fuck sake! Stop hitting on me."

He looked at me with his eyes half shut, he was clearly hammered. "Aww come on, you know you like the attention"

"What is not computing in your brain? We share blood,"

"Well, that didn't stop Aunt Clarice now did it?" He gave me a dirty wink. But he was right, that did not stop her. "Just fuck off now, please"

"Fine, be a whiney tease on your little chair" I never liked him, and now he thinks he has the right to call me a tease? I may be many things, but I am no tease. I sighed and looked up and across the room to see a dark figure making its way towards me. As the light changed I could see the tousled blonde hair of none other, than Draco Malfoy. I felt my stomach coil, for some reason he always made me nervous and on edge.

"Well hello my dear Hermione, and to what do I owe the pleasure?" What was he doing? He was the one who came over to _me_. "I would say the pleasure's all mine, but I'd be lying"

"Ah, witty as ever. Seems you haven't changed, well, much.." He eyed my body up and down with a small smile of satisfaction. I felt the blood rush to my cheeks; I was relieved yet slightly embarrassed that he'd noticed how my body had officially developed over the summer, I was a slightly late bloomer. "Indeed, and I see that you're still as much of an arrogant arse as you always were" I said with a sweet smile.

"Alright love, no need for the defence mechanisms, it's only me" He shifted himself closer to me, only to encourage my body to automatically lean away from him. He smelt like aftershave and freshly cut grass. "Is there something that you actually want or are you just here to irritate me?"

"Well yes there is something that I want, but as opposed to usual routine, it is not something that I am able to acquire…yet" His eyes were smiling.

"Oh, how bizarre. Can't you just call Daddy and have him get it for you?"  
He laughed like he knew something I didn't. I hated that. "No, I don't think this is something he would be able to obtain for me."

"I see, well if you don't mind I think I'll be going now, and if you do mind, I will still be leaving," I couldn't handle being around him for much longer.

"I'll be seeing you soon, Granger" He caught my arm as I rose from my chair. "Try not to miss me too much, eh?"

"I don't think that will be a problem, Malfoy" The sense of his touch was making me feel a bit weak. He let go and I quickly turned around, heading for the door that lead outside, praying that I wouldn't trip and die from fatal embarrassment. As I felt the cool evening air hit my face, I sat on the edge of a nearby wall to reflect on what had just happened. Why was it that he bothered me so much? I have always prided myself on being able to take the high road in any situation, but he just seemed to bring out the worst in me. But then why did I want to go back in there to see him again? Slightly masochistic if I do say so myself.

I was sitting across from my two best friends in the Great Hall, watching Ron stuff his face with cherry pie whilst Harry was talking to Ginny. I found myself absently staring ahead rather than brushing up on all my subjects which I always liked to do on the first day back. I was glad school had started again; I was back amongst books and homework, where I belonged. Plus it was something to distract me from thinking about _him._

Almost as if on cue, he entered the hall and sat down at the Slytherin table. "You alright, Hermione? You're all red." Ron never failed to point out my moments of shame and embarrassment for everyone to see. Although I suppose he was just oblivious, which was rather endearing sometimes. "Yes Ronald, I am perfectly fine thank you,"

"Just feeling a bit flustered about the work we'll have this year?"  
"Mm, yes, that's it" I wasn't exactly about to tell him that the reason for my face resembling a tomato was because the boy I'd be thinking about all summer was just metres away from me and all I wanted was to go over there to hear his voice again. No, I was not going to say that.

"Honestly, I think studying will be death of you. Imagine, _Young witch collapses face first into book, brain shut down_. It'll be all over the Daily Prophet." Ron joked, looking at both me and Harry for conformation, to which we both laughed. It was easier to just let Ron think he was funny. When I looked back down to the table again, I saw an envelope. I removed the red wax seal to reveal that Dumbledore had requested to see me in his office. "Well, I guess I better be going, see you guys later?" Harry and Ron smiled and nodded, waving as I left the room. When I got to Dumbledore's office, I saw that I wasn't the only one there.

"Hello Granger," Draco looked neither pleased nor discontented at my arrival.

"Morning," My throat seemed to restrict me from saying much more than that. To save either of us having to involve in conversation, Professor Dumbledore approached us. "Good morning and welcome back to another school year. I trust you are both keeping well?"  
"Yes, sir" We both chorused.

"I understand that you are both prefects for your houses and as a new tradition to Hogwarts, the prefects for Gryfindor and Slytherin will be sharing a dorm room, whilst Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw prefects will be sharing another one. I wanted to let you know this in person rather than through a howler or a messenger. I have confidence that this arrangement will go well and you'll both have an excellent year." That seemed to be his goodbye, so Draco and I began to walk back to our previous dorms to retrieve our stuff.

"Well I guess we'll be spending a lot of time together then, eh?" Draco draped his arm around me and looked me directly in the eye for the first time in far too long.  
"Yes, I suppose so." Had his eyes gotten bluer? They were like frosted pools.

"Looks like this year might not be a waste of my time after all," He removed his arm from my shoulder. "See you tonight, love."  
"..Yes" Why couldn't I form coherent sentences? He must think I'm such a twat. I continued to my old room to pack up my belongings, reminding myself to inform Harry and Ron of the recent changes later.

Later that evening I went and found my new dorm, hoping I'd be the first to arrive, and which I was. I chose the bed by the window, thankful that it was on the opposite side of what would be Draco's bed. I yanked off my jumper and blouse and opened my suitcase to find my pyjamas, it was then that I heard the door open. "OH GOD!" I was standing there in my bra and skirt, paralysed out of shock.

"Calm down Granger, it's only me" Draco winked at me.

"Exactly! It's you! And stop looking at me!" I was so utterly embarrassed. I wasn't even wearing my good bra.

"Alright, alright, I'll turn around.." I could practically hear him smiling to himself. I quickly slipped on my pyjama vest and shorts before getting straight into my bed. If he was going to see anything else it would be from his imagination. "I swear to god, Malfoy, if you tell anyone about this –"

"You'll what? Put on more clothes? Ooh how I will fear the consequences." I could see that he had much more mocking inside of him but he was merciful enough to quit whilst he was ahead. He made his way over to me, and leant down with his face perhaps two centimetres from my own. "Sweet dreams, love" he whispered, before turning out my bedside lamp and walking over to his bed. I lied there awake for the longest time, wondering if Draco was doing the same thing. _Probably not_, I reminded myself. I tried to turn my thoughts off in hope for some sleep.

The next morning as I was brushing my teeth, he was on my mind. I kept thinking about how he looked when he woke up, his messy blonde hair and his half open eyes. God he was so sexy. _Wait._ I mean, no, he wasn't sexy. He was Draco Malfoy, 'Malfoy' and 'sexy' weren't two correlated words. It was times like these that I questioned the ability of mind reading, like, what if my thoughts aren't private? Sometimes when I look at Draco, it's like he _knows._

The rest of the day went pretty quickly, although I was distracted in almost every class – not such a great start to the year. I tried to put him out of my mind, but such things were easier said than done. Before I knew it, it was 9pm and I was sitting in my reading chair with a book when Draco entered. "Good evening, sweet Hermione, how was your day?" Was he actually asking how my day was? Was he honestly using proper social convention and showing an interest to make conversation? I responded before he questioned why I had just been staring at him. "My day was umm good, yeah, how was yours?" Good one Hermione, keeping it cool.

"Meh, my day wasn't great really,"

"Oh?" I felt an unfamiliar pang of sympathy for someone such as himself, I really wanted to know what was wrong.

"Yeah, but I don't really want to talk about it," He looked down before adding "Anyway, I'm going to bed, night."  
_Well then _I thought. He was back to his usual blunt self before he felt a real human emotion. "Well, let me know if you need to talk." I had no idea why I was being so nice to him, but it reminded me that he was still him. He wasn't the nice guy I had made up in my head; I needed to stop fabricating evidence that made me think he was. It was maybe twenty minutes later and I could hear Draco blow-drying his hair in the bathroom, and if I was going to get some sleep anytime soon, that needed to stop. "DRACO! I THINK YOUR HAIR IS DRY ENOUGH!" I banged on the door. "I need to sleep!" I continued banging on the door until he opened it.

"Fucking hell, calm down!" He glared at me.

"No! I will not calm down. There is no need for you to be such an inconsiderate arsehole!" I was so sick of his careless attitude.

"Oh my god, I was blow-drying my bloody hair. Would you just take it down a notch? It sounds like you're speaking to dogs."

"Well yeah, I am talking to you!" I thought I might hit him, I was smaller and weaker but I could probably get a good swing in.

"You know you look cute when you're angry," He was smiling now.

"Don't do that, Draco! Don't just try and smooth things over by flattering me."  
"Oh, so you're flattered?" He moved in closer to me, I could feel the warmth of his body.

"No, I mean yes, but, no, that's not what I meant!" I was so flustered and embarrassed I might as well have shape shifted into a beetroot.

"Don't worry, I know what you meant…" He was still smiling at me; it made me feel very unsettled.

"Urgh," I rolled my eyes and suddenly, before I could catch my breath, Draco was kissing me. At first it was rough and I wasn't sure if I liked it, but then I felt one hand wrap around my waist, pulling me in closer. He relieved the pressure on my mouth, softly pressing his lips against mine, enticing me in further to put my arms around him and my hands in his hair. I couldn't help but trace my tongue across his lower lip, he tasted like spearmint toothpaste. But I suddenly realised where I was, and this wasn't right, even though it felt it. I pulled away, but his grip was steel. "Draco, stop, we shouldn't do this,"

"Why? I like you, Hermione, and I know that you want me." He reached his hand into my hair, grabbing a fistful and tugging my head back ever so slightly, so he could kiss my neck. My knees were going weak and the feel of his soft lips along my jaw line was driving my insane. "Ohh" I let out a soft moan.

"Does it feel good, love?" He was gently grazing my thigh, teasing me.

"Yesss" I managed to whisper, clinging onto him still. Unexpectedly, he picked me up and wrapped my legs around his waist, taking me and laying me down on his bed. He ripped his shirt off over his head, before tenderly doing the same to me. "Such a gentleman, Draco." I laughed lightly.

"Of course," He playfully winked at me. This was good, I needed to talk. Talking kept the nerves at bay. This wasn't my first time, which relaxed me slightly, so I could at least convince him I knew what I was doing. "You don't need to be so tense," He was trying to comfort me, but it wasn't exactly working. "Relax, Hermione, let yourself go, and live in this moment with me." Whilst I was busy over thinking what was about to happen, he'd taken off the rest of his clothes and slipped mine off, too. He put some of his bodyweight on me, kissing me again with his hands on my chest. He was understanding enough to let me keep my bra on, which did help with the whole self conscious thing. "Mm, you're very wet." He nibbled at my ear.

"Oh god haha," I was blushing. "I can't help it…"

"Don't be embarrassed baby, it's making me so hard for you,"

"Fuck me, Draco." The words came out my mouth before I could think.

"Oh, I will." And then I felt Draco enter me. He was big, _no surprise there_ I thought to myself. He thrusted into me, gentle and hard at first, pulling out to tease my clit.

"Ohhhh…" He'd definitely reached my G spot, and my moaning was getting louder and louder.

"Mmm, moan for me baby," His hand was on the small of my back, encouraging me to arch and thrust my pelvis in sequence with his. He began to fuck me faster, pushing in deeper, stretching and filling me up. "Oh Draco, I'm gonna cum!" I was on the edge of screaming.

"Ohh Hermione! Me too…" He was groaning deeply. I screamed his name as I felt the release of my orgasm, with Draco riding out my wave of ecstasy with me. He softly whispered my name in my ear over and over, as if he couldn't believe it was real. He didn't pull out just yet; he lied on top of me, as we both tried to catch our breath. I took a glance at the clock, to see that it had only been minutes since we began to have sex, yet it had felt like _hours, _many blissful hours.

Draco pulled out and lied down next to me and was staring at the ceiling. For a brief moment I was panicked. I couldn't have been any good; otherwise he would have said something by now, right? "You." He turned his head to look at me.

"Sorry?" I had no idea what he was talking about.

"To answer your previous question: you. You are what I want."

I was in a moment of disbelief. How could a boy, not a boy, but a _man_ such as himself, want me? "You...you want me?"  
He sighed. "Yes."  
My heart swelled. I opened my mouth, but I didn't know what to say.

"Don't say anything; I just wanted you to know." He leaned closer and placed a kiss on my forehead, which I took to mean it was time to surrender to sleep. I sat up, looking for my clothes so I could go to my own bed.

"Nuh uh uh, you're sleeping with me tonight." He pulled me back down with both arms, and I landed on my side. He scooted his body closer to mine and I felt his arm wrap around my waist. "Goodnight, my love." He kissed my shoulder and the room fell silent. My love. _My _love? Holy crap. It was in that moment that I think I knew, I had fallen in love with Draco Malfoy. 


	2. Chapter 2

When morning arrived, I opened my eyes to find that I was alone in Draco's bed. I sat up quickly, in fear that I was late for class, but if so, why wouldn't he have woken me? I looked at the time which informed me that I wasn't late, but which would have meant that Malfoy had gotten up particularly early… to get away from me? I tried not to think negatively as I got washed and dressed and made my way to have breakfast with Ron and Harry. "Hey boys." I greeted them as I sat down.

"Morning, Hermione." Harry smiled at me and playfully rolled his eyes at Ron, who was wolfing down a plate of food, as per usual. "Are you okay? You seem distracted." He looked at me with curious eyes.

"Me? Oh, I'm fine, was just up late last night." I smiled to myself and tried to hold back the giggle that threatened to erupt from my mouth.

"Something funny?"

"Mm? Oh, no." I glanced over my shoulder, my eyes searching for a head of blonde hair on the Slytherin table. I found him and locked onto his face, hoping to catch his gaze. He looked up briefly, but just as abruptly looked back down when he saw I was looking at him. My heart sank. We'd spent a heavenly night together making love, although I suppose it was just sex now. But after all that, he didn't even have the compassion to look at me? I rested my head in my hands. Actually… _no_ I thought to myself. I was not about to have my mind fucked with by a boy, especially a Slytherin. His penis had entered my vagina and I thought that had given me the automatic right to go up to him and ask what the hell was going on. I got up from the table and made my way over to him. "Hermione, what's wrong? Where are you going?" I vaguely heard Ron asking after me. Malfoy was my main focus; everything else was so far from the front of my mind it was like we were the only two people in the room. I continued to charge over there, but as I got closer I felt my throat close up. My heart was pumping so fast I was pretty sure my pulse was going to make my eyes pop out. I slowed down, knowing I was only going to embarrass myself. _No, you've got to do this _I told myself. I finally reached him, or at least his little posse. "Ahem." I cleared my throat to gain his attention.

"Oh and what do _you_ want, Granger?" Blaise practically spat at me.

"I would like to speak to Malfoy."

"Well spit it out, then." Draco said.

"In private." I wasn't going to ask why he left so early this morning after having sex with me the previous night in front of all his friends. Not only was I aware that he wanted to keep it a secret, but I couldn't have anyone knowing that I'd fallen for a Slytherin, let alone Draco Malfoy; I had a reputation to uphold. "It's just prefect stuff." I tried to be convincing.

"My time is very precious, Granger." He winked at his friends, to which they all snickered.

"Speak." Pansy looked at me with an expression that said "_Do you want a fucking fork in the face?'_

"I really don't think it's something I should be discussing right here, Draco." His face flinched at my use of his first name in the presence of other people.

"Say what you have to say or fuck off," He looked at me with dark eyes. "Mudblood."

I could hear the walls of my heart shattering. After all these years we still weren't past that. I was done. I left the hall quickly and silently before the tears could fall from my eyes; I was devastated. When I reached my room I sat on my bed and quietly exploded with sadness. Why would he do that? It didn't matter that his friends were there and we were natural enemies by association… How fucking dare he take my heart and squeeze it into pulp. I was done, I was so done. At that moment I heard the door creak open as Draco peered his head round the door. I couldn't even look at him, being in the same room as him felt like I was being repeatedly punched in the chest.

"Hermione? Hermione I'm sorry." Draco apologised.

"Don't, just don't." I wasn't prepared to hear him out.

"Are you alright?"

"What the fuck do you think?"

I felt him put his arm around me, trying to pull me in. I tried to lean my rigid body away but I gave in almost immediately and let him hold me. I turned my face into his shoulder and cried, my tears soaking his shirt. He moved my hair aside and started to kiss my neck as he pushed me down on the bed forcefully. It happened quickly; he was on top of me, pressing his weight into me and ripping my clothes off. As he smashed his lips into mine, something wasn't right. He tasted different, and the feel of his body wasn't as tender as it had been before. "Draco–" I started.

"Shh." He placed his hand over my mouth. "Don't talk."  
I knew Draco could dominate, but this was something else. It felt… wrong. My senses kicked in, I knew this wasn't right and it needed to stop. "Get off me. Draco, stop."

"No, you know you love it." He replied, trying to get my skirt off.

"No, I mean it, stop! Get the fuck off me!"

"Just shut up!" His body moved with rage now, and he put his hand back over my mouth, restricting my breathing. I was panicking, I wasn't strong enough to lift him off of me and my heart was beating fast but my breathing was getting slower. I tried to scream but I couldn't gather enough energy to inhale. My pulse was getting weaker and I could feel my eyes closing when I indistinctly heard the door fly open and shouting. Was that Draco? And again? Was he shouting at himself? I felt the weight being lifted off me as my eyes closed and I fell unconscious.

I woke up in a haze, unsure of where I was. Memories of what had happened cam flooding back and my breathing became quick as I felt myself slip into a panic.

"Hermione, it's okay, I've got you." Draco murmured into my ear as he enclosed his arms around me.

"No. No! Don't touch me!" I screamed.

"No Hermione honestly, it's me! The _real_ me. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to frighten you. Please, come here."

I warily walked over to him.

"See?" He said gently, and then he kissed me. Softly, like he was afraid he might break me. As his lips melted into mine I felt safe, like I was home, and I knew that it was right. I could feel my shoulders start to shake and I was unable to control the tears that rolled down my face. Draco stopped kissing me and pulled me in for a bone-crushing hug, not saying anything, just holding me.

We stood there for a while when I finally managed to speak. "I was so scared." I felt my lips tremble.

"I know. But I'm here now."

"I thought you hated me." I whispered as I buried my face into his shoulder before a tear could escape.

"Hate you?" I peeked through my hair to see his expression, a mixture of pain and guilt. "Hermione I could never hate you, not even if I wanted to. I'm sorry about what happened in the Great hall. It didn't matter that my friends were there, I shouldn't have treated you that way and I will always regret it. If you can find it in your heart to forgive me, I promise I will never let you down, ever again."

I was taken back. I could see the sincerity in his eyes which made my heart breath a sigh of relief. "Draco of course I forgive you, you mean more to me than the persona you must portray."

"Thank you, my love."

I smiled, feeling it fade as a realisation crossed my mind. "It wasn't you that came to find me after our argument."

"No." His breathing was quiet.

"Then…who?" I was scared for the answer.

He was silent for a moment, and then anguish coloured his eyes. "You don't want to know."

I was even more frightened, but I had to know. "Draco please, just tell me."

"I can't. You will never see them the same way again."  
I was confused. "_Please_."

"Weasley." He spat out with revulsion.

Oh god. I felt sick. Ron? One of my best friends. Well, _not anymore _I thought to myself. "But how–. Oh. Polyjuice potion."

"Yes." He sighed with distress. "He will never hurt you again, Hermione, I can promise you that."

"But I don't understand why he would do that? I've known Ron since my first day at Hogwarts and that just isn't him."

"I don't want to think about why he would want to cause you such pain."

I sat down on the bed; my legs couldn't withstand so much wounding information at once. Draco sat down next to me and held my hand. We stayed like this for a long time; I thought the silence was infinite.

"I'm in love with you." He said quietly.

My entire being felt like it had been jolted with an electric shock. The most beautiful, wonderful and exquisite electric shock. _Bliss. _I told myself. This was what bliss was. How is it possible that nobody's perfect when the genuine article was right in front of me? I was so desperately in love with him that no combination of words, no grand gesture could ever express my feelings accurately enough. We lied side by side for hours, just grinning wildly at each other. There was no way this was wrong when it felt so right.


End file.
